We like to look at moving out of the house and into our first apartment as a true signal of adulthood. Living on your own means you’re a responsible, capable adult. But just because we think of ourselves that way doesn’t mean that we always act that way. Even adults do stupid things or make mistake sometimes. And oftentimes, these situations can lead to humor (at least in hindsight). Here are two situations I found myself in recently.
The Corkscrew Conundrum
The situation: Three friends on a Friday night hoping to celebrate the completion of a long, busy week of classes and exams. Pizza is on the table, a playlist of our favorite YouTube videos is queued and ready to go. All that’s left is to pop the cork on the wine and fill our glasses.
Except… wait a second. How are we going to open the wine?
“Taylor, where’s your corkscrew?”
“…Um… I’ve got this Swiss Army Knife. It’s technically got a corkscrew in it…”
“Okay, where is it?”
“Oh, it’s right he–wait… where did I put that? I swear I just had it…”
“Alright, what else can we use to get a cork out of a bottle?”
“I’ve got a knife…?”
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
“Sure I am!”
(NOTE: NO. JUST NO. THIS IS NOT A GOOD IDEA. DO NOT DO THIS. DON’T. WE ARE SO LUCKY NONE OF US WERE INJURED. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH: THIS WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA.)
Long story short, after a ten minute struggle, we did technically get the bottle open. Was it worth it? Probably not. We ended up with a cheap bottle of red wine with a chopstick and both halves of the broken cork floating inside the bottle. Yes, there was a chopstick floating inside this wine as well. Trust me, it made sense a the time. The chopstick really did seem like a good idea in the moment, I swear.
The Cabbage Confusion
Squash? No, I got that last week… Onions? I think I still have a few in the cupboard… Lettuce? Oh yeah, lettuce! Do I want the bagged kind? You know what? No, I’m going to take the more environmental, economic route! I’m going to buy a whole head of lettuce.
After a few minutes sifting through the heads–how do you tell good lettuce from bad lettuce, anyway?–I settled on one.
Back home, I’m excited to make myself a veggie wrap for dinner. While the vegetables are simmering, I grabbed my lettuce, gave it a rinse, and pulled off a few leaves.
Huh. This lettuce feels kind of weird… Like, it’s not what you’d expect for typical lettuce. *Shrugs* Maybe I lucked out and ended up buying fancy lettuce or something. Cool.
So, veggies are cooked, wrap is wrapped, the table is set. A take a big bite, proud of having made my own meal.
And then I spit that bite right back out on the plate. What is that texture?!? Jeeze, that is the weirdest, chewiest lettuce I have ever had!
Okay, I can do this. I’ll eat it anyway. I’m a big girl. I can eat my vegetables….
Nope. Sorry, no, can’t do this. This is disgusting.
I managed to salvage the wrap by picking out the lettuce leaves, but the rest of the head ended up in the trash can.
Two weeks later, I was back at the grocery store and figured out why that lettuce was so non-lettuce-like.
Turns out, I had bought a cabbage.
What situations have you had to find the humor in? Tell us in the comments below!