Do’s and Don’ts of Befriending Your SO’s Roommates

Dating someone who has their own place generally means you’ll start spending a lot of time there! New relationships are exciting, especially when you just can’t wait to see each other again. But, most people live with roommates in their first few apartments! Your significant other’s roommates will start to play a role in your relationship when you spend time at their shared apartment! At some point you probably want to begin befriending your SO’s roommates without being too obvious!

It’s common for people to get annoyed with each other when they spend a lot of time together…but when you are too much in your SO’s apartment, the roommates don’t really have a chance to get their space! And you’re not their SO! Tensions can build if they start to get frustrated with you, which can lead to issues in your relationship.

Here are a few quick and easy tips to ensure you SO’s roommates are signing your praises instead of telling your SO to get you out of their house!


  • Stay in private space: You don’t have to shut yourself in your SO’s room, but don’t lounge in their common space too much!
  • Clean up after yourself: Keep it neat and tidy, even if your SO’s roommates don’t! But, don’t feel the need to clean up after anyone but yourself.
  • Be friendly and polite: Like always, be nice to your SO’s roommates! Say hello and goodbye, and make small talk if the opportunity arises.
  • Bring gifts occasionally: Make a gesture every now and then, like bringing flowers for their kitchen, offering to cook dinner, or bringing drinks for a party. Big gestures like that will be remembered!


  • Eat their food: This is a roommates 101 rule, but it applies for your SO’s roommates as well!
  • Complain about the apartment: This is important! Don’t put down the apartment, especially in front of them… even if they complain about it themselves! It can be perceived as judgmental and rude.
  • Move their belongings or leave yours: Don’t start to organize their entire apartment when they haven’t asked you to, and don’t leave your stuff in any shared spaces. It’s cute to get a “drawer” for your things in your SO’s room, but turning their living room into your closet is a big mistake.
  • Photo credit: New Girl

    Enter their private space: Privacy is key! Don’t enter their space unless invited, and don’t take it as an open invitation.

  • Invite yourself to their plans: This one is crucial! If your SO is talking about weekend plans with his/her roommates, don’t butt in or invite yourself! Remember, being in the apartment is a privilege, and if you consistently try to engage on their plans, you may stop being welcomed! 

Remember, you are a guest, no matter how at-home you feel!!

What are other Do’s and Don’ts for befriending your SO’s roommates? Leave your ideas in the comments!

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Author My First Apartment

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Sarah is a dog lover and advocate for conversation & laughing at your own jokes. Since finishing her college career in communications, she began working (and living) in Atlanta. After living in a few different apartments over the last few years, she's ready to share experiences. Stay tuned for adventures, tips and advice!

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