Moving for a Job When You Live with Your Significant Other

moving for a jobSo, you’ve landed a fabulous new job… but it requires that you move to a new city, or, maybe even a new state. You’re excited and ready to pack your things and move right this minute. But, wait — what about your live-in significant other? Will he/she be so keen on moving for your work? Will he/she be willing to give of their job so you can pursue your own career? Does he/she even want to leave and go somewhere else? Can you both afford to move? Will you move together, break up, or try a long-distance relationship?

These are just a few of the huge questions that come up when you live with your SO and one of your lands a job that requires relocation. I know it to be true because this recently happened to me. I landed a job I’ve been working toward for close to 3 years, and my boyfriend of 4 1/2 years and I have been faced with the big question: “To move or not to move?” Thankfully, we’re on the same page and have decided to leave Georgia behind for my new dream job in Virginia. But, it’s not always so easy. If you’re facing this decision together with your SO, here’s the steps you should take when discussing the dilemma with your SO before leaving your current home (and maybe your relationship) behind.

Before accepting the offer talk to your significant other. If you live together, that likely means your relationship is serious. So, before making a rush decision, take time to sit down with your SO and discuss your options. The final result may not be one that you like, but it’s always best to decide on something big like this together. Whether you both decide to move together, stick it out long-distance, or call it quits, your first priority should be respecting the person in your life. (Note: This in no way means you should turn down a job offer just because your SO isn’t on board. If that’s the case, take time to talk about his/her reasons and decide what’s ultimately the right decision for you).

Review the impact of the move on each party. Will the job be something that’s beneficial for both of you? Will you make enough money to live on just your income until he/she can find a new job in your new location? Can you afford to move? Is the job worth a move and perhaps a huge change in your relationship status? These are all things to think when an out-of-town job offer comes your way. That doesn’t mean you should sacrifice your dream job or career, it simply means that not all job offers are created equal. And, sometimes, the pros don’t outweigh the cons, especially if it means losing an important person in your life.

Once you have come to a decision together, start figuring out the logistics. Will you both move at the same time? Is it possible to break your lease and move together or should your SO stay behind until the lease is up? Can you afford to pay rent without the help of your SO? Will your SO attempt to find a job in the area before moving, too? Will you be the only person working for a short while? If so, how will that look in terms of a budget? Is moving together right now possible or even in the budget? If you end up dating long-distance, how will that work (when will you see each other, what will you do to make the absence easier, and so on)? And, of course, there is the budget and wish-list for the new place to consider — it’s a brand new city, which means you’ll be doing a whole new apartment search!

Landing a new job that means moving is a big deal, even when you’re single. But, when you share your life with someone, it’s also important to consider how this change will impact them. In the end, honestly  and openly working out the implications of the move together with your partner is the key to navigating your way to a decision that’s best for all parties involved.

MFA readers: Ever been in one of these sticky situations? If so, share your story and how your tackled the big decision with us in the comments below.

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Audra is a recent college graduate and an aspiring writer based in her home state of Georgia. She’s a lover of the sweetest Southern tea, warm weather, and decorating with lots of color, DIY projects, and shabby chic pieces. Her apartment living journey is still young, so she’s busy navigating the ups and downs and learning along the way. For more from Audra, follow her on Pinterest or check out her website

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Comments (3)

  1. Avatar John Donovan

    Moving to a new city such as Boston is certainly a change! If you’re moving your entire family, as well, then considerations such as where your children will go to school are also a factor. It’s important to be sure everyone is comfortable with the decision.

  2. Avatar The Taliesin

    This is so tough. Anyone who has ever loved someone knows that the support they can give someone for going after their goals is endless, however moving is very difficult. All the best and Kudos to those loved ones who move for their significant others.

  3. Avatar Shannon Barnett

    Wonderful post! It is really common for people to refuse the better job offers because of their life partner! Usually there is a way to move together. These are really good ideas! Thanks for the post!