When you are living with more than one friend, it can be really difficult to make sure everyone feels included and happy with the situation. If one roommate feels left out or ganged-up on, or if the apartment splits in half, the whole living situation can get an ugly vibe. There are some simple steps you (and your roommates!) can take to keep peace in the apartment.
To avoid any unnecessary drama, be aware of what’s going on in your apartment. Have you been spending a ton of time with one roommate and ignoring the other? Has one roommate distanced herself from your apartment? Do you hang out with a couple roommates and rarely invite the other roommates to join in? Signs of frustration and/or hurt are usually pretty clear if you only pay attention.
Not sure if your roommate wants to spend time with you? Try it anyway. It can’t hurt to make sure that everyone feels included and important in the housing relationship. Spend a little time together and see if you think the situation is still compatible (it probably is).
If you’ve noticed any changes in the group dynamic, it’s time to try to make it right before it becomes a real issue. Make more of an effort (yes, I’m asking you to be the bigger person here!) to invite your roommate out with you or ask her to spend time with you in the apartment instead of heading out. By spending more time together, it’s likely that you’ll remember why you wanted to live with her in the first place and the issue will resolve itself.
Do you feel like you’re the one being left out? That happens too. Again, try to be the bigger person. Invite your roommates to spend time with you and your other friends. Offer to cook dinner together for a fun night in or ask if they want to spend time studying together. All you can do here is make an effort. It’s easy to get frustrated, especially if you’re feeling hurt. But be positive and honest with your roommates. Feel free to (calmly) tell them that you’d like to do more things with all of you, or that you don’t like feeling left out. Usually, that will help your roommates realize what’s been going on and help all of you fix it together.
Find One-on-One Time
Also, try to spend some one-on-one time with each other too. Living with friends makes it easy to stay in a group all the time, which can be exhausting and divisive. Spending time with each roommate individually may let you communicate more clearly to them and help you bond!
Living with multiple friends can be very tricky because it’s hard to be best friends while sharing housing costs and personal space. Remember the reasons you appreciate each roommate–they are probably very different and thus can offer different characteristics to the situation. Be respectful and kind, especially when you think a roommate may feel left out.