This post is for all my people out there who have ever taken out the trash AGGRESSIVELY! This is for you, you poor souls who fight with every fiber of your being not to turn into your mother and just clean up after your living companion.
When you move in with someone there are a few things that will always be true. One of them is this: one person will always be cleaner than the other. And chances are, something that you know in your heart isn’t that big of a deal, becomes something that makes your blood boil. So you will passive-aggressively point out that the dishes from last Tuesday are still in the sink and you had to fold your roomie’s clothes just so you could wash your own. Or that pesky lamp was left on for the millionth time. So when you find yourself resorting to Regina George-like behavior, stop. It’s not worth it. Here’s what you should do instead:
1. ) First, and foremost, did you guys actually agree to what the cleanliness of the apartment should be on a daily basis? Is there a cleaning schedule? A signed roommate agreement perhaps? If there isn’t one of these, you don’t have much room to complain because your roommate doesn’t even know there are rules he/she is violating. So step one is to have a roommate agreement, complete with discussion about basic housekeeping rules.
2.) If you already have one of these, great! You’re on your way. Next you’ll have to figure out what kind of roommate you have so you can learn how to best approach them. And I can’t stress this enough: DO NOT BE PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE. It doesn’t work, trust me. Likely, you have one of the following three types:
The Forgetful Roommate: this roommate has the very best of intentions. She agrees wholeheartedly that your digs should be clean and says with utter confidence that she will clean the floors every other Tuesday. And she would, if she remembered. Usually with this roommate, she genuinely wants to participate, she just can’t remember. Thus, she will not be offended if you remind her. And remind her you will, until it becomes a habit. Not in a bitchy way, just, “Hey Stacey, you forgot to unload the dishwasher this morning.” Pretty soon it will become a habit.
The Lazy Roommate: This roommate has a propensity to be forgetful, but more than that, she is lazy. She knows she has to clean the kitchen on Sundays, but she’d rather watch the entire first season of Breaking Bad instead. Then when the sun goes down, she’s too tired. Man doesn’t it make you mad when someone chooses trivial things over the important ones? The thing you much realize here is that she just doesn’t see cleaning as something that is important. To her, it doesn’t matter when she does things and she’ll put it off forever. Here again, it’s up to you to bring it up. Bring it up in such a way that you let her know that while it’s not important to her, it’s important to you as annoying as that may be. Gently remind her that you made it clear up front that these were things you expected to be done and that even though she doesn’t see it as a big deal, you do. And out of respect for you, you thought she would do it. If she doesn’t react to that, she may as well have a heart of stone.
The Spoiled Roommate: This girl grew up with a maid, or maybe 2. She never had to do anything for herself around the house and she doesn’t think that should change anytime soon. Yeah, you had a discussion about it but all she heard was “The Kitchen will be cleaned every Monday” not who was doing the cleaning. Certainly not her. In this case, you’ll have to be straight with her. Let her know that you both use the common areas and that you should both be responsible for cleaning them. Offer to go through it together once so that she can’t claim ignorance on “how to take out the trash.” Good luck!
3.) Relax! Sort of. You might have to have a couple of these discussions before you see results, and yes, they will always be uncomfortable. But in the end, they will be worth it. This is where you’re living after all!
If anyone has any other suggestions on how to make your roommate clean, please share them here!
You can find other posts by Katherine here.