Calling all you relationship experts! Our friend Matthew has raised a common problem and asks you to put on your Judge Judy robes again. Here’s Matt’s email. (And thanks for the nice words about our site.)
“Hey, first off, I just want to say I love this site and it helped a great deal during my search for an apartment (my roommate and I found a nice 2-bedroom in Astoria, Queens, New York). It really made it easier and not scary.
Anyway, I was thinking a good topic for an entry should be about the girlfriend/boyfriend of a roommate overstaying their welcome. My current roommate is single, but I’ve experienced this problem with another roommate and I think it’s a decent subject to talk about. For example, in college one of my roommate’s girlfriends basically lived in our small place, making it that much more cramped. She had her own place, but never stayed there because she was either A) in love that much or B) considered our place her “get away” from her own annoying roommates/living conditions. It was obviously B.
It was tough to approach my roommate about this because, after all, it was his lady love. I never said anything (I should have) and it sucked. She got up at 7:00am every morning and watched TV loud, she dyed her hair in my bathroom causing my eye to swell up from an allergic reaction and basically was a girl in a guy’s apartment, making privacy difficult. She really treated it like a vacation home,where rules didn’t apply.
I’ve talked to people and some have had the same problem with a girlfriend/boyfriend “moving” in. I use quotations because they keep all of their clothes/items/computer at their actual place – they just sleep, eat, watch TV, and hang out 24/7 at their significant others’. What is the best way an annoyed roommate can approach that without offending?”