I think my mum is in denial and does not want me to move out!- She has been soooo busy, so I never took her to see the condo apartment. I emailed the owner yesterday, letting her know to go ahead and rent it because I don’t want to hold her up. She replied that someone was interested, so I should let her know what’s up ASAP. I just talked to my mom, and she was like OK, let’s do it (but reluctantly). I don’t want it to be like that. I’d like her to see it because I’m not great at assessing apartment safety and College Park is a very delicate situation. So I’m going to go over all the details with my mum tonight and either do it or not. $600 is great for that apartment, but I don’t want it to be a rushed decision. But that’s the thing with first apartments, is it ever really perfect? If it were I probably wouldn’t be able to afford it. Or should I just do it, and move in like this weekend!? The dynamic is different when you’re moving within the same city, because I could do this with 10 more apartments. Umm, its OK, but I can do better- all because I’m living at home.
The other dilemma I have with this apartment (any apartment for that matter) is the lease thing. I have a problem with commitment. My masters program is finished next spring, so that sounds good, right? The problem is I can’t imagine life in a year in the exact same place. It sounds weird. I have an internship in June at a magazine in New York (so there’s subleasing to think about), and then for my 23rd birthday I bought myself a journal with a quote on the cover: “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined.” In my head that translates into drop out of your MA program, apply to teach English in France and write poetry all day. And then what would I do with my great little apartment in College Park. See, it’s such a dilemma. In the end why do I want my own apartment, to hang out with my boyfriend when he gets back, a little alone time. Can’t that just be negotiated at home? I’m hopeless(: